Altercations with ALTER EGO

Blessed is he, who conceived the idea of sub urban trains for Chennai. A Taxi travel from Mambalam to Chennai central would make you poorer by 200 bucks. Needless to mention the traffic. By Train you spend only miniscule money and the travel time is cut by one fourth. In this selfish act, I also derive pleasure by claiming my contribution in cutting emissions.

My sub urban train arrives on the dot in Mambalam and I reach Park station in exact ten minutes and by the time I reach central station its only 15 minutes, while the journey would have taken an hour by an auto and by taxi... a bit more. At central station, I sift through the display board to locate my train. There it is... on platform no.4. I ease myself to the cozy corner of my seat after locating my compartment A2. On the way I purchased couple of Tamil and English magazines. Strangely, I have the habit of reading magazines and newspapers from the last page.

As I run through the magazine pages, a nagging headache hits me bi frontally. My addiction to caffeine goes back to college days and headache is a withdrawal symptom. Unlike Alcohol, Caffeine withdrawal takes only hours to manifest. To my satisfaction I find a coffee day outlet. As chance would have it, there is no coffee... only tea... I am told.

Then why would they name it as Coffee Day? Muppets...

Anyways, the Cardamom tea tasted brilliant. The moment I finish my tea a coffee wala passes by. I frantically gather myself to chase the boy and succeed in the HOT pursuit. Finally, a cup of coffee.. A Book and coffee to keep company.. what more do I want in life?

Babes in the (outlook) magazine are stunning. Heaving a sigh, I notice a prying eye from the side. My co-traveler, an elderly gentleman is simply staring at me.

"What am I? An alien or something?" that’s my alter ego for you.


I just cannot stand someone staring at me. My psycho mind starts doing permutations and combinations to unearth the reason for his stare and it successfully narrows down to 2.

1) Carlo Bruni’s picture in the magazine in a semi compromised state.

I close it, but the stare is still unabated.

2) It must be my coffee.

ME: "Is it the coffee which is bothering you?" I didn't hesitate to ask him

OLDIE: "Yeah. Why would you drink so much coffee?" oldie with puzzled looks asks me

MY ALTER EGO: "What's your problem oldie?"
ME: "Oh.. hmmm.. I am sorry...Mr..?"

OLDIE: "Mr. John Mathew"

ME: "Yes sir! This is a coffee and the one before this was a tea"

Now his amusement turns into abhorrence.

MY ALTER EGO: "Now Oldie.. enough is enough. Piss off"

Luckily, oldie gets a call in his mobile.

"Saved by the bell,"I grumble

Anyways, Have I mentioned that I am going to Kochi for a training course?
Hope this answers your wheres and whys.

As I drown the coffee with a jitter a samosa wala passes by

"I must have it. How can I miss having a samosa?" the greedy alter ego again

Give into the temptation Rakesh my friend had once said.

This time I am doubly careful to catch hold of the samosawala out of sight from the oldie and gobble couple of samosas in a jiffy and sprint back to my berth.

"Tickets please" the TTE s voice stirs me up.

I show the e ticket, which my loving sister had booked for me. The identification I need to carry in this case is my driving license, and it is a MUST. The TTE has every right to toss me out if I am not carrying one.

"Driving license sir" TTE again.

I start searching my wallet for my driving license fruitlessly for 10 minutes.

"Uh!! Oh!! Am sorry. I don’t have it. I think I have misplaced it".

I notice a prying eye from the side. Again....